


Showing is easy, telling is harder

by Icarose



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: 1-100 ways of saying I love you, Fluff, Pining, Romance, but also not really because I'm too impatient and I wanna get straight to the good stuff, going to add more tags later, i'll make it skippable, kind of a, mutual feelings, slowburn, there might be some smut in later chapters, trying to keep reader as genderneutral, which is romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-05-23 22:26:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14942496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icarose/pseuds/Icarose
Summary: Reader is a detective and works with Hank and Connor. And with Connor's new ability to form emotions and readers growing attachment to him things are bound to lead somewhere. These are 100 times they showed each other their love.Because as we all know, actions speak louder than words.





	1. I made this for you (40)

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place after the good ending/best ending. I'm trying to keep spoilers out of it, but we'll see. 
> 
> Also, my first language isn’t English so there’s probably gonna be some mistakes in here, especially since i write late at night and edit it later. 
> 
> This is inspired by marvelbabe’s fic which i absolutely recommend reading, it’s really good and they’ve managed to portray Connor’s personality better than I have. Here's the link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/14869337/chapters/34428485
> 
> I’m also doing the 100 ways to say I love you prompts, but I’ll be doing them in a random order. 
> 
> Anyway, enough rambling. Please enjoy ^ ^

_40\. I made this for you_

Paperwork had always been the one thing you hated about being a Detroit detective. No matter how amazing the rush of adrenaline while chasing bad guys could feel, it never quite seemed worth it when you had a big stack of paper waiting for you on your desk, just begging to be sorted. Thankfully, the adrenaline wasn’t why you stayed in the job. But sometimes on particularly long nights, you questioned if protecting innocent citizens and solving homicides were worth this much pain. 

You sigh and spin around in your chair a couple of times before looking out over the office. It was late, almost 8 pm, and most people were starting to pack up their things and head home for the night. As your eyes once again drifted to the many papers laying in a neat pile on your desk, you hoped that all the people currently chatting away as they headed for the exit knew how lucky they were. 

They probably did, after all they’d been on the other side of this scenario too. 

Tired from sitting down for so long you stand up and lazily stretch your back, feeling satisfied when you hear a rewarding pop. You got your exercise from being out in the field, but sitting slumped over in a chair for so many hours in a row still took its toll on your back. You figured that you deserved a break after working so hard for so long, even if the amount of papers that needed to be looked over for the night seemed to disagree. You’d go crazy if you didn’t get to stretch your legs now, so you pushed your chair in towards the desk and headed for the kitchen which was now empty. 

The coffee pot on the counter still had some coffee in it, but even as the disappointment of having to drink cold, gross coffee flooded you, it still beat having to make new from scratch. That was a process that just didn’t seem worth it at the moment, and so you grabbed a cup from one of the cupboards and poured a good amount of coffee into it before downing half of it in one take.

Anything to stay awake. 

Satisfied with this, you turned to leave the kitchen but had to stop short as you almost rammed straight into someone standing behind you. 

‘’Shit!’’ you exclaimed as you quickly grabbed onto your cup with both hands to keep the coffee from spilling all over the place. 

‘’Shit I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you standing behind me-’’ you continue before looking up at the person in question, only to be met with the gruff face of Hank. His normally messy hair looked horribly disheveled, and the bags under his eyes were more noticeable than usual. You silently watch him for a few seconds, and then wordlessly take down another cup and fill it with the remaining coffee from the pot. Hank watches you work and then takes the cup when you give it to him, silently nodding a thanks as he leaves the kitchen without a word spoken. 

Huh, you’d seen him tired before but this was new. Usually he’d have a sarcastic and often slightly mean comment ready, even more when he was drunk or tired. But you supposed everyone had a line they drew, when they just didn’t have the energy to waste on pointless remarks. 

You’re about to turn and leave the kitchen yourself when you walk into someone for the second time in only five minutes, this time managing to spill coffee all over yourself. 

You yelp and start patting at your now wet and cold clothes, as if to get rid of the coffee, but quickly resign when you realize that it’s pointless. This is why working late sucks, things like this always happen. 

Finally, you realize that you should probably look up and check who just witnessed you spill coffee all over yourself and then try to _pat it off like an idiot_. But when you look up to meet their gaze you kind of wish you hadn’t, as your met with startling brown eyes in an almost impossibly symmetrical face. 

Connor gently takes the cup from your hands and places it on the counter. He then gently puts a hand on your now coffee stained side, and even in the shock and daze of being so close to him you’re about to ask what the hell he thinks he’s doing. Ever since he became a deviant himself by breaking away from his initial coding, he’s had a bit of a hard time learning how to behave more humanly in social situations. Always wanting to fall back on his usual politeness, while still letting his developing personality shine through. But even he should know that putting his hand on your waist while standing this close is a serious breach in social etiquette and- 

‘’Detective? Detective L/N?’’ Connor looks at you with a slightly questioning look, perfect eyebrows raised and head tilted a little to the right.

You snap out of your trance and blink a couple times, trying to remember what he’d asked. You finally give up and collect yourself enough to ask him to repeat himself.

‘’I was asking if you could move to the side a little so that I may reach the paper towels behind you,’’ he says, and pushes on your waist a little to make you comply. 

Oh. So he wasn’t making a move, he was trying to move _you_. 

Scolding yourself for thinking like that about Connor of all people, you quickly take a few steps to the sides while apologizing for not doing so earlier. Your apologies falter a little as you watch him grab a couple of paper towels with his lifelike but still incredibly calculated movements, and then turning towards you with a simple ‘’May I?’’ 

‘’Yeah of course,’’ you say without thinking first. Only when he takes another step forward and starts dabbing at your wet clothes with the towels do you realize that this is not a position you want to be in considering the state you’re currently in. Despite this, you enjoy being this close to him and you decide to make the best of it. Turning your head a little gives you a chance to glance at his face as he works on getting rid of the coffee as best as he can, and you notice for the millionth time just how lifelike he is. If it weren’t for the LED indicator that he decided to keep, you never would have thought of him as an android. His personality and witty responses wouldn’t have given him away either. He really was a person.

You had always viewed him as one, even before he turned deviant and showed just how independant and free of his programming he could be, before he showed signs or fully developed human emotions. But lately it had dawned on you just how complex he actually was. And you wondered, with all this newfound capability of forming bonds and attachments, just how close you two could be. You’d liked Connor from the beginning, appreciating the way he’d changed up the way you worked cases. But you’d also appreciated him as an individual. 

You knew androids could feel fear, and you knew that Connor could as well. He’d told you about the one time he felt true fear for the first time. You also know that androids could feel love. Platonic, romantic and family love, and you knew that technically Connor should be able to feel these as well. But you wondered. He did have a strong bond with Hank. And you at least considered him to be a very good friend, you just hoped the feeling was mutual. 

Connors calm voice interrupted your thoughts again as he spoke up, ‘’I was wondering, detective. Why were you drinking cold coffee? It is to my knowledge, and Hank’s frequent reminders, not as favourable as drinking it hot.’’

‘’There were cold coffee in the pot, and I was too tired to make new,’’ you shrugged.

His LED blinked yellow for a second. ‘’I see,’’ he says as he finish up his work on your shirt. 

It wasn’t dry, but it was a lot more dry than it had been. And keeping it on wouldn’t be too uncomfortable apart from the strong scent of coffee that was sure to accompany you now. 

‘’Thank you Connor,’’ you say with a warm smile. ‘’I should probably get back to my reports now, but if there’s anything you need you know where I am.’’

‘’I’ll let you get back to work then, detective,’’ he says with a slight smile. 

You both leave the kitchen and part ways as you head to your desk and Connor heads back to Hank. The papers are still laying in the same piles as you left them, and you sigh involuntarily before sitting down heavily and picking up your pen. You’d been away for too long and you had no more excuses, you had to get these done today. 

 

You’d been working for maybe an hour when you’re interrupted by something being put on your desk. You look up confused only to find Connor standing there, his hand still holding the steaming cup of coffee that is placed in front of you.

‘’I made this for you,’’ he says. ‘’I felt bad for being the reason your last cup went to waste, and I figured that you would enjoy some freshly made coffee while working on your reports.’’

You look at him like he’s sent from the heavens as you gingerly take the cup in both hands and bask in the warmth and steam coming from it. 

‘’Thank you,’’ you say sincerely. ‘’That means a lot to me Connor.’’  
You’re trying to convey how much this means to you, even if it’s just a cup of coffee. The fact that he made something for you that he can’t himself enjoy makes you feel warm and appreciated, and you feel like he needs to know that.

He only nods in response, and lets his hand linger on your desk for a moment before turning to walk back to his own. 

Maybe there's too much caffeine still in your system, but if you didn’t know any better you would have said he looked flustered.


	2. I saved you a seat (87)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People still dislike androids

_87\. I saved you a seat_

 

Heading into work a few weeks after the coffee incident, you’re still incredibly grateful that no one but Connor saw it. If anyone else had seen you bump into the android and promptly spill cold coffee all over yourself, they never would have let you live it down. Connor at least, was nice enough to not gossip about it. Even though you were fairly sure that he still found it funny and was just refraining from laughing because he knew it would have hurt your feelings.

Work these days was still exciting, not only did the new spread of deviancy in androids which caused the precinct to lose half its workable force for the time being mean that you had to be out in the field more. It also meant that you got to be out in the field more, with Connor. And you were incredibly appreciative of that fact, paperwork be damned. He usually tagged around with Hank, like his initial programming had forced him to. But now that he was free to make his own choices, police work for Connor was more varied. You knew that he’d moved in with Hank, despite being offered his own assigned apartment as an employed android. But the pair had become close friends during their investigation, Hank could act as grumpy about it as he wanted. You knew he cared about Connor like his own son at this point. Plus, from what Connor told you he’d taken over Sumo’s walks. And you were sure that Hank appreciated that too.

Connor also got his own paycheck, which you were honestly wondering what he did with, you’d never seen him buy anything except the new suit he wore. It looked almost identical to his old one, but it didn’t have the blue android signs anymore. He probably paid some form of rent to Hank, but other than that he must be saving it. As an android he wouldn’t get paid as much as the human police workers, but the fact that he got paid at all was an improvement.

 

When you got to the office people were just starting to arrive, which was normal considering it was still fairly early in the morning. You head to your desk, only stopping to greet some of your coworkers and ask about their latest case. Small talk wasn’t your favorite past-time, but you still wanted to have a good relationship with your colleagues, so you found that talking about cases worked well.

Leaving them you continue to head to your desk, scanning the rest of the office. Your eyes automatically drift towards Hank and Connor’s desks, but you don’t see either of them. That isn’t surprising, Hank still doesn’t bother dropping in until at least 10 am. You turn around again start putting your things down on your desk, starting with your bag and phone. Someone clears their throat right next to you, causing you to jump in surprise.

‘’Hello, detective,’’ Connor says with a slight smile. ‘’I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to ask if you are aware of the mandatory meeting taking place today.’’  
He pauses and looks at your face, obviously scanning you. That seemed to be a habit he couldn’t get rid of.

‘’Uh no,’’ you reply. ‘’I wasn’t aware, when was this decided?’’

There had been a lot of meetings lately, as the police station were forced to deal with the drop of android helpers. But they usually sent out reminders of these to everyone who had to be there.

‘’This morning. Captain Fowler needs everyone in this division to attend.’’  
He pauses for a second and then continues, ‘’They’ve been making a lot of last minute decisions lately.’’

You give him a lopsided smile. ‘’Yeah, that’s to be expected when society gets turned on end y’know.’’

He smiles back at you and gives a little hum in agreement, straightening up to adjusts his tie, pulling at the knot and evening it out. “I’ll see you then,” he says with a small nod. Then he turns to leave and you watch him as he walks away. Shaking your head and smiling to yourself, you’re glad that Connor still works here.

* * *

 

Later that day you’re giving yourself a small break, letting yourself stretch your legs by walking through the office when you spot Hank over by the door to the interrogation room. Connor is next to him, and without really giving it a second thought you walk up to say hi. They seem to be in the middle of a conversation, Hank is talking while Connor is listening intently, occasionally giving a response. From what you can see he looks almost amused.  
They both notice you and turn to you, you’re too far away to really hear what they’re saying but Hank seems to say some sort of joke regarding their conversation and Connor responds with a laugh.

You freeze.

That was the most genuine laugh you’ve ever heard from Connor, and it came so quickly and out of nowhere. You manage to continue walking before Hank catches onto you, but you can tell that Connor noticed you hesitate. As soon as you get close enough to join them, Hank starts talking about something, you think it’s a case. But Connor just looks at you, head tilted slightly. He looks curious and a tiny bit amused, you can’t tell if it’s just your brain making things up but you feel like his smile is looking a bit too smug.

He doesn’t say anything though, instead turning to listen to Hank who is still busy talking. He seems to have moved on to talking about something a colleague did, years ago, on a case. You only catch the last bits.

‘’And then–’’ Hank says while gesticulating wildly with his hands, almost laughing too hard to complete the sentence–’’the bastard actually drank from the jar in the suspect’s house to prove that it wasn’t alcohol.’’ When he’s said his punchline, he laughs even more. Not necessarily louder, but just more. Heartier. It suits him.

‘’Lieutenant, what was in the jar?’’ Connor asks, still looking amused but this time at Hank’s problem to finish his own story. You’re just glad to see Hank so happy.

‘’Moonshine strong enough to blind an elephant, poor guy had to be sent to the hospital. Don’t worry he came out fine, never seen him drink anything he didn’t pour himself since that day.’’ Hank chuckles good naturedly and turns to you.

‘’By the way, did you hear about the meeting today?’’ He asks, seemingly calmer.

‘’Yes.’’ you say. ‘’Connor informed me about it this morning, I’m still not sure what it’s about though.’’

‘’Android business,’’ Hank replies. ‘’They’re discussing possible android cops in the future.’’

You frown slightly and say, ‘’I didn’t think that would be a deal big enough to warrant another meeting. Connor’s an android and he’s employed, why can’t they just employ the others as well?’’

Hank is silent as Connor speaks up instead, he knows you’re passionate about androids’ rights and even with his newfound concept of injustice towards himself and other androids, he knows that your reaction is likely to be worse than his.

‘’Androids are yet to be considered employable in the healthcare, education or law enforcements. The only reason I was offered a job here at this precinct was because I had already been a major part in our deviance investigation, and Hank argued that it would be beneficial to keep me as part of the job force.’’

‘’So, other androids just aren’t allowed to become cops? What about all the ones employed here before the civil war?’’ You can’t believe they’d just deny everyone who wanted to stay.

‘’They’re all dead,’’ Hank says. You can’t really detect the emotion in his voice, it just is.

‘’Oh.’’

But what about the others? Those who wanted to join now, of free will.

‘’But that’s- that’s. The others. They can’t just straight up refuse to accept androids as police officers!’’

‘’Right now they can, we’re hoping that this meeting will change that.’’ Connor’s voice is as calm and collected as ever, his expression neutral. From as what you can remember, you don’t think you’ve ever seen him truly upset.

You’re about to say something else, you’re not even sure of what yourself. You just know that this is incredibly unfair and you’re not having it. But Hank pats your shoulder before you can start.

‘’Save it for the meeting, kid.’’ He says it with humor in his voice, but you can tell that he’s not happy about it either. He gives your shoulder another squeeze, and walks of leaving Connor with you.

‘’I know that you’re determined to see androids and humans as equals, detective. But right now the best thing you can do is probably to listen to Hank.’’

He looks at you for a moment longer, and then nods at you before walking off after Hank. He hasn’t even gone a few feet before he looks at you over his shoulder.  
‘’I’ll see you at the meeting, detective.’’ He smiles at you and cheekily adds, ‘’Don’t be late’’

Wow. Okay. First off, when the hell did he get so.. so. You don’t even know what he is. And secondly, of course you’re not going to be late. You scoff and turn away yourself, but you can’t help but smile at him.

 

* * *

 

 

Two thoughts are running through your head as you yourself is sprinting through the corridors of the police building, avoiding coworkers and trash cans as if they were hinders in an olympic race and you’re tauntingly close to the finish line.

‘’ _Fuck, I’m going to be late_ ’’ Which in the situation is a completely rational thought.

But it is promptly followed by ‘’ _Fucking Connor. I can’t be late’’_

These two thoughts are only interrupted by a fleeting realization that this is probably what criminals feel like when they’re being chased through town, looking for shortcuts and avoiding any and everything in their way. Maybe if things had been different, you could have known the feeling first hand.

 

You reach the door, only late by 5 minutes. But you know these people, they’re so eager with getting the meeting over they’ve probably started 10 minutes ago. Making you appear later than you actually are. Perfect. You push the door open and do your best to not look like you’ve been sprinting through the entire building with wild abandon, and that’s why you’re slightly out of breath. Everyone is sitting at the table already, and they all look up as you enter. You don’t even make an excuse, there’s no point and you already know it. Instead you just hurry to the only empty chair. Next to Connor.

The chatting in the room continues as you close the door and make your way over to the table. You sink down into the chair next to Connor and breathe out. He looks over at you with a slight smile and leans in a bit. ‘’I thought I told you not to be late,’’ he says in a hushed voice.

‘’Ha ha,’’ you reply dryly. ‘’Sorry, if only I had listened to you.’’

He smiles wider, it’s almost a grin now. ‘’You could at least thank me, I saved you a seat.’’

You chuckle a bit at that, neither of you mentioning the fact that it’s just because none of the other human workers feel comfortable sitting next to him, even after having accepted him as part of the division. Still, Connor saving you a seat makes you feel warm and appreciated again. You don’t have any time to wonder why though, as the meeting seems to start up again. Hank is sitting at the end of the table, close to Connor. And he seems to be arguing with one of your superiors.

They spend ages talking, arguing. You want to interrupt them sometimes, to yell at them that ‘’hey, these androids are people too’’. But you don’t, because you need this to go well and you don’t want to compromise the situation. You know that all other laws regarding this matter have been passed. By now, the only thing keeping androids from being allowed jobs in the law enforcements are the individual divisions and operations choice to employ them or not. These people in front of you, have all the power. You wonder what this is like to Connor, they’re arguing whether his kind are good enough to hold a job position he’s almost superior in to anyone in this room.

Someone points at Connor, you think he’s your boss but you’re not sure because you’ve never seen him around before.

‘’We already have that thing on board!’’ he exclaims loudly. ‘’We shouldn’t have to deal with more of them.’’

Oh no, he did not.

Hank is on him in a second, telling him how that ‘’ _thing_ ’’ is one of the best detectives you have, and how he could beat anyone in this room in a chase.  
‘’I know,’’ the other man says, clearly trying to defend himself. ‘’But he’s not human and he’ll never be, our citizens wouldn’t feel safe knowing androids are supposed to keep them safe. They shouldn’t have to live in fear of their own police officers going rogue.’’

Connor finally speaks up at this, you can tell he’s upset but he’s hiding it well enough that you and Hank are probably the only ones who know.

‘’Captain Wright,’’ he begins.

Ah, so that’s his name.

‘’Androids make up part of the population in Detroit, and they are also not anymore likely of ‘’going rogue’’ than a human officer. Androids also have close to unlimited stamina and an increased resistance to pain which makes them-’’

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence, because Captain Wright stands up suddenly, leaning forward over the table to look at Connor.

‘’If I were you, I’d shut my mouth. I don’t care what they say, you’re not a person. You’re just a machine that couldn’t listen to its own programing. You’re not even a he, you’re. an. _it_.’’ He spits the last few words out.

The table goes quiet, Connor doesn’t say anything. Not even Hank can get a word out after the blatant display of hate from his own superior. You think the whole table is in shock.

Connor moves next to you. He puts his hands on the table and slowly stands up, until he’s leaned forward just like Captain Wright. He doesn’t break eye contact and his voice is as calm as ever when he speaks.

‘’Captain Wright. Androids are going to return to this precinct whether you want to or not. It would be in your interest to at least tolerate them.’’ He backs away after this but Wright shoots out a hand and grips Connor by the collar. You shoot out of your seat, mind numb in disbelief.

‘’You goddamn piece of shit,’’ Wright manages to hiss out between his clenched teeth. There’s pure hate in his voice. ‘’You think you’re better than us, huh? Is that it? Well I promise you that as long as I’m here no other android will tarnish our reputation.’’

He lets go off Connor’s collar by pushing him, hard. It’s not enough to cause Connor to lose his balance but it’s enough to make everyone else in the room finally step up. The once tense and quiet table erupts in yelling and shouting, you don’t even bother trying to make out the words.

You hiss under your breath at the commotion, quickly reaching a hand out and gripping Connor’s shoulder. You sink down into your chair and pull him back down with enough force to have cost a normal person their balance, but Connor simply lets himself be pulled down until he’s seated too.

“They can’t just refuse to accept other androids,” Connor says, and you notice that he sounds upset. He looks over at you with anger and desperation written all over his face. You want to tell him that no, they wouldn’t. But instead you just hush him and whisper back, “Hank won’t let them.” You hope that you sound more convincing than you feel.

The rest of the meeting go by quickly. You weren’t able to pay enough attention to make out what was decided, you don’t think that anything was decided over all the yelling.  
Hank grabs yours and Connor’s shoulders and lead you out of there, practically fuming. He leads you away from the room and mutters something about needing a drink before walking away, leaving you alone with Connor again. Honestly, you could go for a drink too.

You look over at Connor, who’s just standing next to you. Not moving, his eyes are focused on something off into the distance. You gently tap his arm.

‘’Hey, you okay?’’ It’s a stupid question, of course he’s not. You wouldn’t have been either.

‘’I’m fine,’’ he says but his voice sounds different, strained. ‘’I should probably go check up on the Lieutenant.’’

He should, probably. But some part of you doesn’t want to let him go. It seems that part doesn’t get a say though, as he half heartedly offers you a goodbye and starts turning around to follow Hank. You only have a split second so you act on an impulse. Before he’s turned around completely you reach out a hand, tugging at his arm to stop him.

He turns back at you with his eyebrows raised but you don’t give him a chance to say anything as you throw your arms around his waist and drags him closer. Only when you feel his arms hang stiffly at his sides as your face is pressed against his chest, close to the crook of his neck do you realize what you’ve done.

For a second, he doesn’t do anything. And you’re painfully aware of how awkward this is, you’ve never known Connor to need physical affection or reassurance. He was your friend, yeah, but this was probably crossing a really big line. You’re panicking internally, and it doesn’t get better when you realize how close to him you are now. You can feel his waist under your arms, he’s soft but at the same time more firm than a human would feel, probably from that fact that he has a hard layer of plastic underneath his synthetic skin. He doesn’t smell of anything, the only scent you can pick up is from his button up shirt and it smells faintly of warmth and laundry detergent. He’s confusing your senses and even though you’re about to die from embarrassment you can’t make yourself let go just yet.

You feel him shift, and his arms come up to rest against your back and, a moment later, you feel his chin press against the top of your head almost shyly. You relax into the embrace, enjoying the feel of Connor against you. It feels nice, safe. You both stand there for another few seconds before you decide that you really can’t keep him any longer. Untangling your arms, you smile warmly at him.

‘’I’m sorry about the meeting today Connor, but it’s only a minor setback. I’m glad to still have you around, and the others are too.’’ You shift your weight a little, suddenly unsure of what more to say. ‘’But uhm, I’ll let you get back to watching over Hank now. Buy him a drink for me, yeah? He probably needs it.’’

He looks at you but doesn’t say anything for another moment.  
‘’Yeah,’’ he replies, finally. ‘’I’ll be sure to do that.’’

You both say goodbye again and then head in the opposite directions. Despite the complete mess of a meeting, today still feels like a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell that I have no idea how police things work?  
> My current writing tactic is writing at two am and editing the next morning, or never.  
> Thank you for reading!


	3. It brings out your eyes (56)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor has an, interesting taste in clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter chapters, I'm trying to make them long but some of them are going to be short snippets like this one

  1. _It brings out your eyes._



 

You stand outside the changing room, a jacket thrown over your arm and your phone in the other hand. There’s ambient music playing through the speakers, and not as many people as there could have been, something you’re incredibly thankful over.

 

You hear the rustle of fabric and hurriedly finish up the text you’re sending to Hank. A few days ago, Hank decided that Connor needed more clothes than the one grey suit he always wore. Apparently it annoyed Hank that Connor walked around the house in those clothes no matter what time of day, or night, it was. When he brought it up around you Connor intervened saying that he didn’t feel the need for comfortable clothes in the same way you or Hank did, and that he was content with wearing a similar style. He had multiple sets of the same outfit, he made sure to wash them. Apparently, this wasn’t Hank’s problem. And so he sent you out with Connor to get him more clothes because when Hank tried, he gave up after 20 minutes and you had to practically drag him out of the bar.

 

He told you that he wasn't ever subjecting himself to the horror that was clothes shopping with Connor, but you really don’t know what all the fuss was about. You’ve managed to find a pair of comfortable lounging clothes, a casual outfit with a nice button up shirt, two new ties, and a couple of sweaters. Things were going great so far, even though you’d been the one to choose most if not all of the items. Eventually, you decided to let Connor pick something completely on his own.

 

So here you are, putting your phone away just as Connor steps out of the changing room. You look at each other for a moment, Connor scanning the growing scepticism on your face and you scanning Connor’s clothes. You can see why Hank gave up.

 

‘’What… do you think?’’ He says carefully, clearly awaiting your harsh judgement.

 

‘’It’s…’’ You really don’t know what it is. He’s wearing a pair of jeans that, honestly, look really good on him. But, you don’t know in which level of hell he found that sweater. It’s the most hideous thing you’ve ever seen, filled with so many shapes and patterns it makes your head hurt just from looking at it. It looks like someone tore up a bowling alley carpet and stitched it together to form the monstrosity in front of you.

 

‘’It’s,’’ you try again, ‘’it’s definitely unique? And uhm, I can see why you would.. be.. drawn to it?’’ You’re at a loss here, you don’t want to hurt his feelings but you’re pretty sure that if Hank wakes up late at night and sees Connor wearing this he’s going to die on the spot.

 

‘’I’m sensing that you don’t like it.’’

 

‘’It’s not really that I don’t like it, it’s just that it makes my head hurt just from looking at it and I’m sorry but it’s hideous.’’

 

He looks almost offended by this.

 

‘’But!’’ you quickly add. ‘’But, I’m of the strong opinion that we should all buy things we like, and even though something can be seen as hideous by others, if we embrace that fact and wear whatever we want anyway, that’s how we’ll be truly happy. And, those jeans look great on you, definitely keep those.’’

 

He nods at this, chewing on his lip in a way you haven’t seen before.

 

‘’Is there anything about it you like?’’ he asks, finally.

 

You can’t help but smile brightly at him.

 

‘’It brings out your eyes.’’

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is inspired by some fan art I saw of Connor wearing a shirt much like the one in this chapter, I can't find it right now but if you know which one I'm talking about feel free to send it so I can include it in the summary.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	4. I like your laugh (38)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader goes out for a couple of drinks with Connor, Hank and some friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I'd make this genderneutral but I failed and I'm so sorry

_38\. “I like your laugh.”_

  
  
  
  
  


After the failed meeting, your life has consisted mostly of trying to solve more cases while remaining as happy and positive as you can. You want the precinct to employ more androids, but if you spend every day mourning one lost battle you know you’ll never win more. There will be more meetings, and so you decide on making the best of the situation until then. For now, that involves dealing with Hank’s bitterness, which you’re sure is just out of habit these day. He’d always been a man with a hard exterior and soft inside, he could play as tough as he wanted. It was clear that he had a big heart. But ever since Connor showed up, he’d changed. He seemed happier now, and he joked around a lot more without solely relying on sarcasm on irony. Connor changed a lot of things when he showed up.

 

Speaking of the devil, as you’re standing over your desk reading some reports you see Connor approach you in your peripheral vision. You smile almost without realizing it, and turn to face him. He looks neutral, emotionless. Not happy or sad and for a second it feels like someone took a grip on your insides and squeezed them, he looks like he did months ago when you first met him. Irrational thoughts about reversed deviancy occupy your mind even though you’re desperately trying to keep them away. You don’t know why you’re thinking these things. Even as Connor looks up at you and his eyes narrow a bit as he smiles at you, you can’t help but feel a tiny bit of fear linger in your stomach.

 

You write it off as being scared for Connor’s sake, he deserves more than to feel like an emotionless, mindless machine. You don’t want him to go back to his initial programming because he deserves to feel free as a deviant.

 

_Yeah, that’s it._

 

‘’Good morning, detective. I was wondering if you’re done with case file #24601, Hank has requested to look over it once and he asked to see your notes.’’ His voice sounds normal, everything about him looks normal. So why is it so hard to keep yourself calm right now?

  
  


‘’Yeah, yeah I’m done with it,’’ you say, and do your best to act natural. Your voice is steady enough, you’re wondering if he can tell about your internal conflict.

 

You take a breath and continue, ‘’I’ll have it on his desk before lunch, promise.’’

 

Connor doesn’t get a chance to reply before one of your colleagues, a young man named Lawrence, walks up to the both of you. He had an easy personality, one that made it hard to believe that he could house strong feelings about anything, really. He was also one of the only ones who seemed to be accepting of androids. He was friendly to everyone.

 

‘’Hey Y/N,’’ he says with a grin. He turns to Connor and greets him as well, just as enthusiastically. ‘’I was wondering if you two wanted to join a couple of us down at the bar tonight. It’s John’s birthday, we’re celebrating.’’

 

He seems to realize something and turns around to face Connor, again. ‘’I know you don’t drink,’’ he says. ‘’But I’m pretty sure the lieutenant will be there, and you’re still welcome to tag along for the social part you know.’’

 

You’re happy that he’s inviting Connor, and that he does it without patronizing him too. There’s no whipping around the bush with Lawrence, he knows that Connor can’t drink but he welcomes him anyway. You can tell that Connor appreciates it, too.

 

‘’I’ll be there,’’ you say.

 

‘’I’ll come as well,’’ Connor says.

 

Lawrence thanks you both and then heads off in another direction, probably to ask more people. You’re really happy to spend some time with Connor in a non work related setting, and you’re sure that tonight is going to be fun, the panic from earlier already forgotten.

 

* * *

 

 

You leave work later that night, excited to go to the bar and just hang out with your coworkers and friends. It’s nice to have a night off for once, and to spend it with people you like. Most of the others have left already, they told you which bar they were going to so that you could join them there. You glance around the office to make sure you haven’t forgotten anything and then head for the exit.

 

As soon as you’re out on the street the cold hits you, and you shudder as you pull your jacket closer to your body. It’s only a short walk to the bar from work, so you don’t think much of it at first. You could handle the cold, especially since you’ll be warming yourself up with a few drinks soon anyway. As you’re walking through the streets of Detroit, you decide to sort out your feelings from earlier. Connor was a deviant, he’d broken away from his initial programming and he wasn’t going back to it, you knew that. So why did his blank face earlier scare you so much, you hadn’t been bothered by it when he acted like just a machine. When he didn’t feel emotions like fear or affection. He’d always been incredibly human, albeit a bit awkward, but you’d never felt uncomfortable with him not expressing emotions. So why did it scare you, now that you knew that he could actually feel them?  

Why was Connor showing emotions suddenly so important to you?

 

You don’t have time to see this train of thought to the end station, because you’re already standing in front of the bar, pushing the door open from sheer habit before you’re even completely aware of your own surroundings. A detective probably shouldn’t get lost in their own head so easily, but you give yourself a pass on this for now.

  
  


As soon as you step inside the heat envelops you in a warm and hazy glow, making your face start to heat up again. The bar is in front of you, stretching out left and right with tables scattered around, going further back to a more secluded area of the room. This was one of the nicer bars in this part of town, and the orangy lights along with dark colored furniture gave it a hearty feel. You pull your coat off and drape it over your arm as you venture in further, ignoring the bar even as you take a quick glance over the many bottles that litter the shelves behind it. Someone calls out your name to grab your attention and you spot Lawrence at a booth further in. It’s a big table in the corner of the room, with comfortable chairs and sofas surrounding it. Lawrence, John and another coworker named Eric sit on one side of the table, with Hank and Connor on the other. As you smile and walk over to them you determinedly ignore the way your heart jumps at the fact that the only empty seat is next to Connor. They all greet you when you arrive and Connor stands up to offer you his seat next to Hank. You slide in and Connor sits down again, so you’re sandwiched between him and Hank. It feels cozy, the two people who have basically become your family during the months and years you’ve known them on either side of you makes you feel safe.

 

‘’Alright L/N,’’ Lawrence says with another grin, ‘’you took so damn long so we just went ahead and ordered for you anyway.’’ Eric reaches out a hand push one of the drinks on the table towards you and you grab it while the others grab their own.

 

‘’To John!’’ Eric says, and the rest of the table repeats it while clinking the glasses together. You take a sip of your drink, you’re not really sure what it is and you don’t care enough to ask. It doesn’t taste bad and that’s what matters.

 

‘’Did you really wait with making a toast until I got here?’’ you ask the others.

 

‘’Of course we didn’t,’’ John replies. ‘’Hank here has had two of those already.’’ He points at Hank’s drink, you’re not surprised.

 

‘’But we figured that you wanted to be here for it too,’’ Lawrence grins.

 

You smile back at him and raise your glass slightly before taking another sip. The feel of the warm drink slipping down your throat and settling into your stomach warms you from the inside out and you let yourself revel in it for a moment. The rest of the table falls into conversation, and you join in on the joking and laughing amid all the talking. It feels nice to be a part of this.

 

Connor who’s still next to you sits straighter than the others, as he usually does with his perfect posture, it makes you jealous sometimes. He’s not drinking, obviously, but he keeps his hands occupied with that coin of his, rolling it over his knuckles but refraining from throwing it. He catches you staring at his hands and gives you a quick half smile before turning back to the conversation, listening more than he contributes to it. In most social situations, unless it’s just Hank and you with him, he tends to quiet down. Preferring to listen instead of speaking, it almost seems like he’s shy to you.

 

You’ve had a few more glass of whatever it is they ordered for you, even though you’ve had your glass refilled a couple times you’re still none the wiser of what you’re drinking. But it makes you feel warm and happy and you can feel your mind get just fuzzy enough, to the point where the warm room feels like it’s pressing against your skin in a comforting hug, and everything is delightfully funny. The others are still talking, but you feel content with just sitting in silence and listen to them, thinking again about how lucky you are to be here and enjoy this with them. You look around the room, at Hank who’s chuckling at something someone said. At the others on the other side of the table, three men who are your friends and who you’re thankful to work with. You look out over the bar, at the patrons who are still there. You notice two young couples a couple of booths away near the wall, they look happy and you can’t help but smile at them.

 

Lastly, you look at Connor. And in your tipsy state of thinking, you’re happy that you saved him for last, because you’ve lost enough inhibitions to admit to yourself that you like looking at him. The dim light in the bar is so different from the almost blinding light in the precinct, or to the way too dark shadows that cover his face whenever you’re out in the patrol cars at night. And seeing him in this literal new light makes it extremely hard to look away.

 

Right now, the light is making shadows appear on his face; around his brow bone, his nose, his jaw and all the way down to his neck. Everytime he moves, it dances over his features and it makes you think of fire for some reason. It reflects in his brown eyes, right now they seem to be darker but there’s still an amber tint to them when the light catches them just right. He turns his head to look at Lawrence, and you get a profile look of his face. You know that you’re staring, you know that the others are going to notice it, but you don’t want to look away from this and you don’t know why. You just know that right now with the light and the warmth and the sense of Connor around you, you feel okay. And you want to stay in this feeling for just a few moments longer. Just a few moments-

 

Someone shakes you, and you can’t help the small sound of displeasure that escapes your lips. There’s shuffling around you and a lot of amused laughter, you’re finding it hard to really focus on it so you just smile yourself.

 

‘’Jesus, how many drinks did you give her?’’ Hank asks the other guys.

 

‘’I wasn’t paying attention to how much she was drinking,’’ Eric admits and scratches his shoulder. He’s looking a little ashamed and it makes you want to protest that you’re an adult, and he didn’t need to keep watch over how much you were drinking. But even though you know you’re drunk now, you’re sober enough to know that you should probably stay quiet.

 

‘’She shouldn’t drink anymore, that’s for sure. Let’s get her home. It’s still pretty early and I didn’t have any problem staying out longer but she’s gotta get home. I don’t want to deal with her hungover self at work tomorrow,’’ John says.

 

Hank sighs next to you as he rubs a hand over his face. They’re right. It’s still early and suddenly you feel bad for being this intoxicated this early in the evening. You feel as if you’ve ruined their entire night.

 

‘’I-’’ you begin, and then clear your voice to make sure it’s as even as it can be- ‘’I can walk home myself, you know. There’s no need for you all to interrupt your evening just because I happen to be a lightweight.’’

 

It’s quiet for a moment until Lawrence quips in from the other side of the table. ‘’You think we’re letting you go unsupervised when you’re so drunk you’re swaying in your seat? One of us can follow you home, to make sure you get there alright.’’

 

Yes, that sounds like a good idea actually.

 

‘’I’ll do it,’’ Connor says, the others look up at him.

 

‘’You wanna drive her home?’’ Hank asks, there’s something in his voice that makes you look up at him, and that makes the others snicker a little. It doesn’t sound mean though, but at this point you know you can’t tell.

 

‘’I’m the only one at this table who’s not under the influence of alcohol, and I’m the only one who doesn’t drink in the first place. I’ll drive her home and make sure she’s alright, and then I’ll head back here.’’

 

Hank seems content with that answer as he fishes the keys out of his pocket and throws it over your head to Connor who catches it without even looking. He hooks the keys on one of his fingers and gently takes a hold of you as he stands up from the booth, making you scoot out to the end and follow him. You happily wave goodbye to the others as Connor leads you out of the bar with a hand on your shoulder, and takes you down the street to find Hank’s car. You involuntarily shudder again as the warmth you’ve been surrounded by promptly gets replaced by the cold evening air. He notices it of course and looks at you, concern on his face.

 

‘’Are you cold? Would you like my jacket?’’ he asks, already reaching up to take it off.

 

‘’No, I’m okay,’’ you smile back at him. You’ve sobered up a little already from the sudden shift in temperature, and you’re trying hard not to seem more drunk than you actually are.

 

Connor hums in reply but increases your tempo so you’re by the car in just a few seconds, he unlocks it and holds the door open for you, for a moment you’re sure he’s going to go as far as to fasten the seatbelt. Thankfully, he doesn’t. You don’t know what you would have done with his face so close to you right now, you don’t trust your brain to make logical choices at all.

 

He gets in himself and starts the car, turning up the heat before he’s even out on the street. There’s a comfortable silence in the car, it invites you to sink into the car seat and just enjoy the hum of the engine and the sound of Connor shifting every now and then as he reaches for the stick or turns his head to check the mirrors.

 

But as comfortable as the silence is, you can’t resist breaking it.

 

‘’Thank you for driving me home, Connor’’

 

‘’I just want to make sure you get there safely.’’

 

‘’I know, that’s kind of you.’’ Your interest gets drawn to a brightly colored store sign, and you watch it go by within a second as Connor drives past it. You’re almost home now.

 

‘’Why do you carry the coin with you everywhere you go?’’ You ask thinking back to the way he played with it in the bar, you’re genuinely curious.

 

‘’It was provided for me by CyberLife when I was first assigned as the Lieutenant’s partner in the deviance investigation. It was meant to keep my reflexes calibrated.’’

 

‘’Is that what it does?’’

 

‘’Well-’’ he pauses as he thinks over his answer- ‘’I think now it’s more of a habit, or in some cases what you humans call a stress relief. While using one would help regulate the stress inducing hormones in a humans, making them feel calmer, for me it helps my systems focus on a basic task. You could say it takes my mind of things.’’

 

You think about his answer for a second, wanting to come up with something that sounds half as scientific as his explanation did.

 

You settle on a meek, ‘’It looks cool too.’’

 

He smiles and agrees with you. Your next question springs out of your mouth before you can stop it.

 

‘’Can you teach me how to do it?’’

 

He looks genuinely surprised at this, turning his head towards you before shifting his attention back to the road.

 

‘’You want me to teach you the coin trick,’’ he asks in mild surprise. 

 

‘’Yes!’’ you exclaim excitedly. ‘’We could annoy the heck out of Hank together!’’

 

He actually laughs at this, another one of his quick but genuine laughters. The one that made you freeze last time, but one that this time makes you feel like the warmth from the bar is back and running through your body again. He’s still smiling when he parks the car in front of your building, and he turns to you. He’s just about to reply when you interrupt him.

 

‘’I like your laugh,’’ you say. His eyebrows shoot up and it makes you smile more, because he’s giving you an incredulous look while also giving you a puppy eyes, somehow. You decide to continue before he can interrupt you.

 

‘’I like your laugh,’’ you say again, ‘’the one you do when it’s like- like you’re surprised by what someone said? And you laugh and it sounds so genuine and happy and then it’s over so quick and you just go on like nothing happened. I really like that laugh.’’

 

He looks at you for another few moments before he shakes his head softly. ‘’Y/N, you’re drunk,’’ he says gently. ‘’Humans don’t think clearly when they’re under the influence of alcohol, it changes the hormones in your brain and makes you jump to conclusions and decisions that are not thought through properly, and it-’’

 

‘’I like when you ramble, too,’’ you say with a grin. He shuts up but looks at you almost exasperatedly. You know that he’s right, you are drunk. But you’re not totally incapable of making good thought through decisions, which is why you tell him goodbye and thank him for the ride before opening your car-door.

 

‘’Be safe,’’ he says and you nod at him as you close the door. He waits until you’re unlocking the door to your apartment building before backing out from his parked spot, you wave at him as he drives by and then slips into the foaje.

 

It’s not until you’re under the covers of your bed a few minutes later that you realize what you just told Connor.

 

And you realize what it meant, to you. Why he made you feel happy, why the thought of sitting next to him at the bar and at the meeting made your heart skip a beat. Why his laugh made you feel the way it did.

 

You only have one thought racing through your brain as you fall into a sleep you’re too tired to fight off.

  
  
  


_‘’...shit.’’_

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader is finally catching onto their own feelings when it comes to Connor ;))
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	5. Don't worry about me (31)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while since the last update, and this isn't very long. But, here's a chapter and here's my Tumblr in case you want to yell at me for not writing, or if you wanna say hi https://icarus-and-the-stars.tumblr.com
> 
> I do have a plot planned for this now, with some good mutual pining and later some fluff. Don't worry, it's coming.
> 
> Oh also, I changed my name on AO3. I'm no longer Hey-There-Buddy-Pal :p

  1. _Don’t worry about me._



  
  
  
  


When you wake up, the first thing you notice is the way your head pounds as you move it. You stifle a groan as you press it into the pillows, trying to get rid of the headache you really aren’t surprised by. Getting drunk around your friends and colleagues hadn’t been your plan when you agreed to join Lawrence and the others at the bar, but somehow that was exactly what you’d done. You can’t believe that you let them see you like that, that Hank saw you like that, he was like a mentor to you. Even though you’d seen him drunk more times than you could count, especially before Connor came around and-

 

_ Connor _ . 

 

Suddenly, last nights memories come rushing back to you and you remember everything. The way you’d blatantly stared at him in the bar. The way you’d clung to him as he walked you to Hank’s car. The conversation in said car, and the way he’d looked at you before you left. The realization that had hit you before you fell asleep. 

 

_ Connor _ .

 

Suddenly, everything makes sense. The way his laughter made your heart stop and warmth flood your body. How when he smiled at you, you felt like you’d finally done something  _ right _ . Every time he showed emotions comfortably, getting more and more secure in himself and his ability to show them genuinely, it made you so happy. It wasn’t because you were happy that he was able to feel emotions, at least not only because of that. You knew now that it made you happy, because some selfish part of you were hoping that he could reciprocate the feelings you had for him. You feel like a lovesick teenager, and like the world’s biggest idiot. As you think over your behaviour for the android during the last couple of months you can’t believe that you weren’t able to identify your own feelings. 

 

Your thoughts trail off again. 

 

_ Connor. _

 

Okay, now you’re annoying yourself with this. You might be a tiny bit infatuated with Connor. Crushing, hard. You might even love him. But you’re an adult, and you should be able to control your thoughts and feelings, professionally.

 

You sigh as you get out of bed. Connor deserves a friend who can put his needs over their own. He doesn’t need more complicated human things. For now, you’ll have to go on as usual. 

 

Your headache is still making you miserable as you walk into the precinct an hour later, and right now, the future doesn’t seem so bright and easy to deal with. You decide to blame it on the hangover. 

  
  


* * *

 

 

Work isn’t as bad as you expected it to, your headache is almost gone after a few hours and you found a new lead on another drug case. Usually, you did homicides but recently you had stumbled onto something bigger while investigated what looked like a simple murder, and now you had a chance to bring down one of the major suppliers of red ice in Detroit. All in all, things were going okay. Until someone jolts you out of your thoughts by slapping a hand between your shoulder blades. You flinch and let out a little shout, turning around to see who the hell was practically assaulting you at your desk. You turn around to find a grinning Hank.

 

‘’So, Y/N, how’s the hangover? Didn’t think you’d be the type to drink until they need a ride home like a drunk teenager.’’

 

You let out a dry laugh, making sure to get enough sarcasm in there. ‘’Very funny, Hank. I didn’t know that whatever I was drinking would get me drunk that fast. And I could have made it home on my own, without the ride.’’

 

‘’Yeah,’’ he grins again. ‘’Keep telling yourself that.’’

 

You’re trying to think of a witty comeback as your attention is stolen by Connor turning a corner behind Hank, walking towards you two. He looks the same, he looks normal. But it still makes your heart beat faster, and for a second you wish you’d never come to terms with your feelings about him. Still, you’re a detective. You know how to play a part well enough to pretend like everything is normal. 

 

‘’Lieutenant, detective,’’ he greets you both. Formal as he usually is when you’re at work. 

 

He starts going into detail about a case, and you zone out almost immediately. You have to snap yourself out of it before you’re gone completely, but it’s hard when he’s in front of you and you’re trying really hard not to stare, and it’s hard when the assholes at CyberLife made him so goddamn attractive. From his perfect hair down to the strategically placed freckles over his perfect skin. 

 

You can’t help but cringe at yourself. 

  
  


‘’Y/N,’’ Connor says, ‘’Are you alright? I know that it’s common for humans to experience some unpleasant side effects the night after drinking. Are you experiencing these?’’

 

‘’No,’’ you lie. ‘’No I’m fine, just a bit tired after looking at screens all morning.’’ 

 

You smile at him, hoping that you sound convincing enough. Hank seems to buy it, which is encouraging. 

 

‘’And,’’ you continue before he gets a chance to say something,’’I actually need to get back to them, I have a new lead and I’m going to go out and see if I can find more on it so I should get going now because of the lead that I have and I really gotta go check on that.’’ You can’t help but notice how you’re practically rambling and you wince internally. Connor and Hank both give you a look, but they don’t say anything as they step away so you gather up the things from your desk. You make a quick stop in the break room to get yourself a coffee for the road, and then you head out to get your car. You liked to use your own manual car, like Hank. Self driving cars were nice but you preferred to be in control yourself. You unlock it just as someone pulls your arm, almost causing you to spill the coffee. You’re beginning to wonder what part about you seems to invite people to grab you around or hit your back as soon as you’re not paying attention. But when you turn around and come face to face with Connor’s brown doe eyes, you decide not to ask him that. 

 

‘’Y/N,’’ he begins, sounding almost uncertain, ‘’Are you sure that you’re okay? You were very clearly drunk yesterday, and you were acting strange just now. I know that humans can experience some gaps in their memories and I just wanted to make sure that you didn’t say anything that you don’t remember or regret?’’ It’s probably meant to be a statement, but his tone rises and makes it sound like a question. He’s asking if you regret what you said when you were drunk, but thinking back you really don’t. You can enjoy his laugh as his friend too, can’t you?

 

‘’I remember yesterday, and I said some things that I might not have said while sober, but I don’t regret them.’’ You smile at him, and it seems to ease him a little. ‘’And I did mean it, Connor. I do like your laugh.’’

 

You feel the grip on your arm loosen a little, and only now did you notice that he was still holding onto you. He looks at you for a while longer, still hesitant to let you go.

 

‘’Is there anything else bothering you, Y/N?’’ He asks, and it warms your heart a little to know that he’s worrying about you, but you don’t need him to. Not for this. 

 

‘’Connor, I can assure you that I’m fine. Don’t worry about me, okay? You have enough going on as it is.’’

 

‘’I’m your friend, I’m supposed to worry about you aren’t I? Isn’t that what friends do?’’

 

The word friends gets stuck in your head as you smile warmly at him. You’re stubbornly ignoring it, you told yourself you wouldn’t make things weird. That you wouldn’t try to push a relationship onto someone who only started experiencing feelings a year ago and who considers you a good friend. But you know that you still need to acknowledge your feelings, later. 

 

‘’You are my friend, and yes that is what friends do. But that goes both ways, you know. I’m fine, Connor. Don’t worry about me.’’

 

He tilts his head at you and lets you go, but he doesn’t say anything. After another few seconds he nods his head and turns around. You don’t move until the door closes behind him. Sometimes he still seems awkward in his concern, like he doesn’t know how to shift naturally from one emotion to the other. He used to rely on his programming for that, but back then he didn’t feel the emotions. He just faked them. 

 

You shake your head and get into your car, finally. Your face heats up as you turn up the warmth and drive off, you know exactly where you’re going. The coffee is still hot, and you take careful sips as you find a spot where you’ll be able to keep watch of a building that you’re suspecting you’ll find your murderer and recently suspected, drug dealer. You sink into your chair, hands around the paper cup and a head filled with thoughts about Connor and friendships and everything between those two. You wiggle a bit in your seat to get comfortable.

 

It’s going to be a long night. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!


	6. No, no, it's my treat (3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so before the chapter I just wanna say, I’m having the worst writer’s block of my life rn. And honestly, I want to work on this fic but it’s like I can’t make it happen. I’m trying, bear with me, and I fully intend to go through with this so don’t worry about it being abandoned. But just, I’m having a hard time actually making myself write it right now. I think I kind of made it harder for myself by deciding to do 100 chapters, as some of these prompts are a bit difficult to write with Connor in them, and without making them TOO repetitive. But I'll figure it out.
> 
> Anyway, here’s my tumblr if you wanna come say hi or something! https://icarus-and-the-stars.tumblr.com

_3\. No, no, it's my treat._

 

Your eyes are starting to close, no matter how hard you fight to keep them closed. The soar of computers working along with people chatting and sometimes arguing around you is lulling you to sleep even as you do your best to stay awake. Ever since you got the big drug case you’re currently working on, you had practically exhausted yourself looking for leads, writing reports and trying to figure out just  _ where _ the next drop would be, so you could stop this supplier. And no matter what you did, they were always faster than you. One step ahead, taunting you and recently, leaving bodies in their way. If you didn’t hurry up, this case would be assigned to someone else. This was most likely the most important thing you had worked on in your entire career, you knew that you could not afford to lose it. 

 

You’re close to overworking yourself, and you know that. But you need to focus on this, you needed to prove yourself to Fowler, Hank, Connor and yourself. They were all people whose opinion you valued, along with the rest of your colleagues. You wanted them to be impressed. 

 

You were pretty sure that your slumped over, half asleep form in front of a messy desk was even less impressing than you feared, but leaving wasn’t an option. Sleep could wait. You  _ needed _ this. Your intense fight for answers, and for staying awake, is interrupted by a hand placed gently on your shoulder. You don’t jump at the touch, there’s no energy left for that in your body. 

 

‘’Y/N,’’ Connor says gently, you can’t even turn around to face him. 

 

‘’Y/N, ‘’ he says again, and shakes your shoulder a little. ‘’Are you awake?’’

 

‘’Yeah,’’ you mumble, trying your best to speak clearly. You straighten your back and click around between the folders on your computer, revisiting pictures and notes you’ve examined over and over already, hoping that even if you don’t find anything new you can at least look productive in front of Connor. 

 

His hand tightens on your shoulder and he pulls slightly so that your body turns towards him, you halfheartedly try to look away, but a gentle squeeze on your shoulder draws you back to him. He meets your eyes and you see his own widen a little, probably at the sight of your dark circles, or maybe he was scanning you. Considering the fact that you couldn’t remember the last time you ate anything, you’re almost dreading his reaction to your appearance. 

 

‘’Y/N, you’re exhausted. You look like you’ve been working for hours without a break, and when was the last time you ate something?’’

 

‘’I can’t remember,’’ you answer truthfully and Connor shakes his head. 

 

‘’You need rest, and food. Let me take you home.’’

 

‘’No!’’ you exclaim and surprise you both at the intensity of your words. The thought of giving up, of leaving, fills you with adrenaline and desperation. ‘’Connor, I can’t leave now. I need to work on this, I need to bring this guy down. Please, I’m fine. I just need to eat and I can stay for a few more hours.’’

 

He shakes his head, and you’re ready to start pleading for real. But then he seems to change his mind, he looks at you, his LED flickering yellow and blue in a fast beat. One thing that hadn’t changed about Connor was his determination to finish a mission. If he had the same needs as humans, he’d probably neglect them too in favor of working on a case. Hopefully, that meant he could understand your need to stay right now. 

 

‘’I’m not going to send you home.’’ He concludes, and you feel a sense of victory at his words. ‘’But–’’ he continues, and looks at you sternly  –’’ I am going to have to insist that you get something to eat, and that you get some sleep tonight. You can't stay late again, L/N.’’

 

‘’I can accept that,’’ you say and smile at him. You expect him to remove his hand, but it’s still resting on your shoulder. You’re fairly sure that it’s intentional, since Connor generally don’t forget what he’s doing. When he doesn’t move it, you move to stand up so you can go get something to eat and drink. But when he feels you trying to rise he pushes you back down gently, this time putting both his hands on your shoulders.

 

‘’Wait, let me get it for you,’’ he says as he removes his hands and straightens his tie, you hear him clear his throat and you wonder which part of his programming told him to do that, since he doesn’t really have a throat to clear. 

 

‘’You want to get me something to eat?’’ you ask, surprised. 

 

‘’Yes, I’ll go get it for you. I don’t want to distract you from work,’’ he says with a smile that seems more like a smirk, and you can’t help but roll your eyes at him. 

 

‘’Alright then, would you mind getting me a sandwich and some tea maybe?’’ You almost asked for a coffee, before realizing that you’ve had too much of that already. It makes you think of the coffee he made you a few weeks ago though, and that in turn causes you to smile without realizing it at first, but then you see Connor’s smile soften a bit to mimic your own. You wonder if he was aware that he was doing that. 

 

‘’I’ll go get those for you’’ And with that he’s already heading towards the break room, and you watch his back as he hurries towards it. The way he’s always ready to help you, and others, make you smile again. His programming had forced him to obey orders, so now that he had a free will and the ability to choose not to do things for others, the fact that he still chose this, to be kind and helpful. It was probably one of the things you loved the most about him, along with his humor and strong will. There were so many things to love about Connor, he made it too easy sometimes. 

 

You manage to do some work before he comes back, he doesn’t say anything at first as he places a sandwich he must have bought in front of you, along with a cup of steaming tea. He eyes you while you carefully take a sip, making sure not to burn your tongue, it tastes sweet and earthy at the same time, and you take another sip before thanking him again. 

 

‘’This is perfectly made, thank you Connor.’’

 

You pull out your wallet and start looking for some change to give him for the sandwich, but he stops you by putting a hand over yours. 

 

‘’You don’t have to pay me, Y/N,’’ he says with a half smile. 

 

‘’I want to though, how much was it?’’ You don’t like people buying you things, owing people anything is never a good idea. And even though there’s no risk with Connor, you still want to pay for yourself. 

 

‘’No, no. It’s my treat,’’ he insists, and you know that he’s not going to give up on this, you’d probably have to shove the money down his artificial throat for him to hold on to it.  

 

‘’Stubborn android,’’ you mutter under your breath and turn back to your screen, but you can’t hide your smile and you hear him chuckle. 

 

‘’Stubborn human,’’ he retorts. 

 

You playfully huff in faked indignity, and you see him shake his head at you. He smiles at you again before walking off, and you try to shift your focus back to the screen. 

 

You feel a lot better than you did before, the tea is making you feel warm and happy and you already have more energy. 

  
  


Though you suspect that you can’t give the tea sole credit for that.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


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